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    9/16/2008

    结束之前 开始之后

         问题是,如何才能回归到朴实的心态。

         时间过了很久很久,学校的温度却似乎没被季节控制,房顶散发的热量即使没在床上也能感触到,这样的天气给了我多一个逃避的借口。貌似借口太多,我也不在乎多这一个。

         慢慢地,要学会认真接受和恍然大悟的精神,或许面前多了很多奇怪的人和事,也也许不是或者,只不过躲在虚假的背后,没看见而已。

         我突然意识到,前一阵子长大了一岁。其实一直没过生日的意识,长久以来的忽视让我少了对其中的感悟。一年,不应该只是物理意义上的,还应该更多,比如责任、虚伪,以及很多很多。我的固执和坚持也应该隐藏在别人的理解之下。

         多年前,我坐在外婆家的电视机前,在熬夜看申奥的那些时间里,我没意识到之后能去现场看比赛,山里的城镇和遥远的首都距离是如此遥远。现在,我经常思考,多年后,我会在哪,我会和谁在一起,我是否满意当前的状态。也许我说得冠冕堂皇些,那些只是都是茶余饭后的YY,有时我很会乐享其中。不过毫无疑问的是,时间有些时候来得太突然,所有人都面目全非了。

         努力吧。

         之前我说过,我总是很消极地感到乐观,当努力后承担上并不期望的结果时,我会接受。我并不感到坦然,不过也不会过分懊恼。不知道能不能慢慢改变我的态度,以后我会坚持写日志,慢慢记录。

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